365 days of Grieving, Laughing and hopefully… Living

I guess I should probably start at the beginning. Most narratives tend to follow this very basic structure. I myself am quite fond of starting at the end and looking back. It must have been watching Columbo as a child and thinking… how did it all start? Their is something rather intriguing about knowing the ending of a story and seeing how it all started. I was definitely one of those kids who skipped to the end of a book and read the last page (as if it made any sense without the context of the story).  Alas I neither have the foresight or the luxury to start at the end. So to quote Julie Andrews; “Lets Start at the very beginning, a very good place to start”

This blog is a personal journey into 365 days following the death of a loved one. Specifically my Mother. The specifics can be saved for a later date and potentially during a wine filled evening of cathartic writing.  That will be fun wont it?

I am already 34 days into the process. I have cried, laughed… drank…. basically been a proper pain to everyone around me. Those looks of ‘are you going to combust’?, “how are you feeling”,  still haven’t subsided. Everyone is trying to say the right thing, being generally kind…. resenting them for it sometimes as it seems like the perfectly rational thing to do at the time.

So why the blog? Do I want to publish my amazing manifesto on grief and make millions on a worldwide book tour telling people how to grieve? The cheque would be amazing as I’ve always had expensive tastes, well beyond my budget but more on that later. The truth is I wanted an outlet to talk about my feelings without burdening everyone around me. I want to feel my voice is heard, and generally I want to express every tear, laugh and moan and so the reason for the blog. I also hope to enjoy the experience and find not necessarily a finite resolution to my feelings, but a way of possessing them.

If you are reading this thinking ‘does he believe he has the monopoly on grief?’, I am very self aware that I do not. I am not commenting on death and loss in general, I’m only talking about my own personal experience. However if you do wish to read my personal biography titled ‘I am an authority on grief’ it is now available on Amazon, Price: £0.05… bargain!

So what can you  expect from this blog?

• ‘Funny’ stories (hopefully)
• wine
• probably more wine
• reflection
• real experiences
• wine
• hopefully an entertaining read

ok so the last one is probably for my own narcissism but I’m sure deep down every Kansas City girl who grew up in a one horse town dreams to be validated through something… mine potentially my literary prowess (or lack thereof), we shall see.

So get strapped in, pull up a chair and lets see how the next 365 days go.