Today I’ve been thinking a lot about timing. Timing can either be perfect, based on precision timing and executed just at the right time. Sometimes it can be bad, just missing that second or going too early. It can be the difference between wining and loosing. So we all think timing always has to be perfect. Sometimes with the clarity of time can we truly see that something timed so imperfectly can have a ripple effect and actually be indeed perfect (I’m pretty sure that’s a paradox or at the very least a heavy implication of irony).
Second year big boy school was filled with many highlights. At this point I was academically comfortable. I had been sorted due to academic results and was in the top set for all my classes. Myself and Billy were in every class together with the exception of games. He had to play rugby with all the blue shirts and I was with the red shirts. The past year we had went from acquaintances so fast friends. Billy had a dark sense of humour that appealed to me. Their was also a raw sensitivity there that in later life would only surface occasionally, however always remained. Life would create a guard for Billy to wear too. Circumstances would force him to wear it like an armour. Everyday putting on a fresh guard like deodorant, it becomes part of your daily routine.
The notices went up around school for the annual ski trip. As I loved skiing I would sign myself up. Never really asking mummy how she would afford it. I never really thought about these things at the time but now I really appreciate she always let me experience everything in life. Billy too would want to attend. Last year I was the only 1st year to go. Yes it was scary being the only student from my year to go, however it was also liberating and showed an uncharacteristic bravery that would resurface occasionally. No one likes awkward social situations however being prepubescent teenager really adds some spice in the pot. We would spend the next 4 months training in the gym. We did extra leg exercised to prepare of the physical strain. When I see we went to the gym for four months, like most adults we went for a week then never looked near it until 1 week before we were due to fly to the French Alps. It has always amazed me the people that get genuine joy from the gym, maybe I just don’t understand it? It is a lot of hard work and I never seem to get the release of endorphins that exercise enthusiasts promise will occur, Maybe my brain is broken.
We also had to rent our ski clothes. Last year I went with the whole gear from salopettes to ski jacket. This year I would forgo the jacket as I usually get far too warm. People always assume that due to the snow on the ground its freezing conditions. I usually get an amazing tan from skiing and wear little more than a long sleeve t-shirt in the afternoon. It would be a short sleeve one however anyone who has fell bare armed in the snow at 30 mph will tell you the reason not too. It hurts like hell!!! As much as everyone like to avoid falling it is unavoidable and a great part of the fun is falling on your ass every now and then. I then bought a nice little hat, ski googles (as I broke my other ones) and all the suncream/blocks from Boots. As previously stated when I say ‘I’ bought them… Mummy was the financer behind my little pre ski shopping spree. She was always happy to do it. Don’t get me wrong I was a little spoiled but she never let it get out of hand. I was renting my ski clothes after all. She knew boundaries. The week felt like an eternity to end and each day like a year. Time is funny in this regard. When we are waiting for something it feels like everything slows down however when we are in the moment enjoying it, it speeds up and feels its over in a blink.
The morning of the trip was here. Mummy had packed my bag, ensured 20 times I had my passport and she drove me to meet the rest of the group at school. We would be heading to the airport on a bus. SHe hugged me and wished me farewell. I’m pretty sure she had a little tear in her eye as she never got used to saying goodbye to her son. We always used to say “we will be together soon”. I always felt content knowing that.
On the way to the airport myself and Billy would laugh and joke and generally ooze our excitement. Little did I know that the trip would change for our lives forever, and In the short term not in a good way.
To be continued.
A Grievers Guide to the Galaxy 