Day 31: Into the woods.

On a beautiful day like today what is the best thing to clear a cluttered head. A little walk into the woods. I decided to take myself on a little trek and get in tune with nature. Well as in tune as I can get really, I had my earphones in belting out some Celine Dion which made the walk even more epic, why wouldn’t it? The reason for the French Canadian diva? Well for some reason it always reminds me of mummy. I have been filling my days with work and with social occasions galore. It was time to really sit back, assess my feelings and actually sit still, alone and not distracted.

As I was walking the familiar grip took my chest. It is hard to explain but anyone who has experienced grief may attest to this, it is a gripping sensation in your chest. I googled it a few weeks ago and is perfectly normal. Its like something is lying their, foreign and unwelcome. I have come accustomed to my little stowaway showing up from time to time. It doesn’t happen a lot but sometimes it just tugs, literally at the heart. As I got closer and closer to the woods in question I started to feel the tug sensation pass. I looked up as the power of love was belting. I seen the canopy of the treetops and I felt still, I felt at peace. As I walked around I seen lots of families taking their children around Worsley woods. It was so peaceful. It is big enough that everyone isn’t stepping over each other. The nearest human is within a 5 minute walk so the feeling of isolation felt rather comforting.

Nature has that affect. As we can often feel lonely and isolated in our homes, especially at night, nature has the opposite effect. We often grave this sense of freedom. Almost like another person would be intruding in our private world. The sun beat down over the trees and the gripping sensation had completely dissipated. I felt free. It was like all my emotions had subsided, even just temporarily in this oasis within the city. As I walked around I would love to say I had reflection time and was feeling very philosophical. The truth in fact is that my mind was blank. For the first time in a long time my brain had quietened, the thoughts went into mute and I started to relax like I haven’t done in a long time.

I approached this beautiful area in the open with a little wooden bench. I sat their, on my own for 2 hours. Normally these situations require armour like a book or a phone call however this time was different. I was happy to soak up the solitude and just pause. Those two hours passed away in a heartbeat. A beautiful breeze broke up the high temperatures every few minutes. I looked around on this gorgeous summer day and felt oddly that she was with me. Their were no tangible signs, no apparitions bearing prophetic statements. It was just a feeling. A very comforting feeling.

When I arrived home a few hours later I realised that its ok to be alone. I need to stop filling my life with distractions. Don’t get me wrong I wont be pausing my life completely but every now and then I will take time by myself and just feel what I’m feeling. Modern life can take over sometimes with the hustle and bustle intertwined with responsibilities and obligations. I know now that every now and again I will take time for myself. Take time to just breath.

🙂