Day 33: A lot can happen in a month

So I have been writing on here for over a month now, only 11 more to go ahhhh. The truth is I started this really not knowing what I was doing, why I was doing it and would I even have enough of a voice to express the things I wanted to. The beautiful thing about this process is that it happens in the moment so everything is never pre-planned. I think that would take the spirit away from the words. Some people have asked me do I have a loose structure I follow and points to cover, the simple answer is no. I have things I know I want to talk about and stories I want to share however that is it.

Every morning or evening I sit down in front of my lap top and everything is in the moment. That’s what I love about it as it is raw and real. My little brain goes into overdrive as soon as the digits hit the keyboard. I swear she is possessing me and enabling this weird ability to go into auto pilot…. ok that’s kind of scary actually, lets scrap that notion! I feel today is a bit of a milestone as I look back and reflect on the previous month. Things to reflect on that I have learned about myself;

• I love sharing these stories as I feel I am reliving them.
• I should never drink wine and write the blog at the same time, at least not after a whole bottle.
• I love the fact I feel I am sharing this experience with many people and in a way it makes it all that much easier.
• I am an ugly crier (FACT).
• Wine + Crying = a Pablo Picasso ( and not his early scenery paintings!).
• Their is no hard and fast rule to this whole grieving business.
• nature is awesome.
• people are awesome.
• writing is cathartic (I’d highly recommend it!).
• you can be very lonely in a crowd (very cliché teen movie however still relevant)
• The bottom of a Pinot Grigio does not make you feel better, and even worse the next day.
• you still get the sad eyes sometimes when you walk into a room, I must be wearing a metaphorical shroud. Actually I think I could pull off a shroud, very Madonna circa Like a Prayer.
• The world moves on even if you don’t want it too.
• Anger is healthy but shouldn’t be all consuming.
• Everyday is different.
• loosing to your best friend at Mario Kart sucks, even if it was only the once it burns!
•  Putting on Celine Dion when feeling emotional + Drunk = Suez Canal

So in a month have I learned anything…. Probably not. Though was that the initial purpose? Not particularly. I just need to keep up the steam for the next 11 months and perhaps I will learn something. Maybe I will have a really profound lifechanging epiphany in the third Act. All the best stuff usually happens in the third Act.

So to everyone out there, I hope the past month has been as fun to read as it has been to write. Until tomorrow Grievers …. XO