She flashed in front of me in to the student halls wearing a pink trilby hat. She was blond, pretty and a smile like a boomerang. Her friend had raven hair and an air of confidence I had never seen in someone before, she exuded it like a leaky tap…. and she knew it. Within those first 5 minutes I knew, these are my new friends… whether they like it or not. And why wouldn’t they like it? I was charming and sweet but also with a little edge. I’m sure I was the balance between their Ying and Yang personas. I just needed to pass the audition…. life has no dress rehearsal and this was my chance. To think, it all started with a Pink Trilby hat in late September…
Inspiration. It is very much something that can appear from nowhere and disappear just as quick. We looks to many sources for inspiration, the Greeks called on the muses to inspire their art. Ok so that’s all well and good but I’m not sure we can rely on some Grecian Floozy in modern times to gives us a dolt of inspiration when the urge strikes us. I have found that although the muses are long gone, their legacy is far from stuck in the ancient texts of old. Essentially people inspire us everyday. From giving us that lift we need to make it past the second tall latte we are craving to strokes of genius we feel creep up to us in the most unexpected places. I am inspired everyday by the people I am fortunate enough to surround myself in my life.
Sometimes It takes loosing something to see how much we really have. I have been very luck in my life that I have been surrounded by love at all touchpoints in my life. From a bouncing baby boy who used to run up the streets in size 7 heels, to the semi-functional adult sitting writing this blog. I have been inspired by the people in my life. One chapter in my life that was abundant with inspiration was my university years, and the two girls I still call friend to this day. This is how it all began…..
University was thrilling and scary for me. Of all the ladies only Nadia was attending the same one as me, in Coleraine. The others were heading to Belfast which I was initially devastated about being separated from them I was also kind of excited to start this new adventure. It felt like I could be anyone I wanted to be really, I could have a whole new identity and no one would know any different. I had been out a year and really I was coming to terms with the adjustment myself. The ladies were fantastic but they knew me before I was out so it was a little strange. I was going to a place where I wouldn’t have to come out (per se) and I could just be Michael straight away (I see the irony in that statement). Billy was also leaving to go to England. We knew he would as he was never one for settling or doing the normal thing. He probably went to Coventry just to be different knowing him. The drama of it all. I was not ready for that big an adjustment. I was very much a mummy’s boy and the thought of not seeing her every weekend was too scary. Also I don’t even think I for once thought about going to university in England. I cant even remember why? Billy was the only one of us to go across the sea. He was always brave like that.
The arrangement was that I would live in university Sunday night through to Friday morning, attend morning class, come home, drop my washing off, go to work then see the ladies on Saturday night. We all came home for our weekend jobs and it was lovely as we never felt we were too distant from each other. It was also nice to see mummy as that day she dropped me off at the student halls I swear I seen her crying on the drive away.
4 weeks later….
So I had my classes down, I only had something like 16 hours a week of classes. I was really enjoying them actually as at university the vibe is completely different than at school. Most people at university actually want to be there and learn. My social life was mediocre. Nadia and myself befriended the girls she lived with and to say they were odd is an understatement. They were two girls from the west coast of Northern Ireland. Ringer would come up the odd Wednesday night to attend the weekly ritual of Kelly’s nightclub. It was a superclub in Portrush were everyone would go from University as it was the place to be. It was the only nightclub I have went into with a full on fish and chips restaurant inside. I can still smell the chip cheese and curry I would inevitably be wolfing down at the end of the night. It was one such night I was heading home from an evening to my own university dorm. Nadia had a brand new build with en suite. I on the other hand had what looked like a prison cell. White washed brick walls and communal showers (they were vile). I didn’t really communicate with the boys in my particular block as they were usually all too stoned to make eye contact. I pretty much hung out with Nadia when I wasn’t studying or in class.
That night walking home from my taxi from Kellys I bumped into two familiar looking girls in the entrance to my dorm. It was a massive dorm that had many different blocks, and one lived in a different block yet the same building as myself. I recognised the two as they were from my Media Studies class. I think they always sat together. I am pretty sure they were from the same place as the Belfast accents sounded similar. As I approached my dorm a blond girl with a pink trilby hat said hello to me.
“Do you live here? what’s your name?
I answered in the affirmative, a little tipsy so probably with a large amount of enthusiasm. Shed introduced herself, she was ‘Tink’ (short for TInkerbell). She smiled at me in a very warm way and decided she would introduce me to everyone from the halls. She put her Pink Trilby hat on me (she knew I was homo fabulous straight away) and grabbed my hand and paraded me up and down the halls. She introduced me to this Raven headed girl with dark eye makeup. She was smoking a lambert and butler cigarette like she had been smoking since she was 2. She eyeballed me looking completely unimpressed with what stood before her. Tink introduced the girl to me.
“This is ‘Fagbutt’, she is in our class too”.
I smiled and said hello to Fagbutt even though I was pretty sure I was going to hate this girl, she terrified me. She looked so over everything and everyone in that moment. Yet she had a cool way of doing it. It was like meeting Marylin Monroe and Joan Crawford. Though I must say Fagbutt is far prettier than Ms Crawford ever was.
Over the next few weeks the three of us became the best of friends. Tink was the cute social butterfly who was friends with everyone. I was the gay who most people were fascinated by and wanted to ‘have a conversation about my gayness’ with me (exhausting most of the time) and Fagbutt was the strong one who would kick anyone’s ass if they messed with Tink or myself. These two girls were my university experience. They inspired me everyday. I grew up a lot those 3 years and especially discovered a lot more about myself through their friendship.
Their is a lot more to tell though….. this is just the first meeting……… a lot more on these ladies soon.
night xx
A Grievers Guide to the Galaxy 