As I stared at my computer screen I had a look of shock, anger and befuddlement all rolled into a nice neat little package. To be honest I think I was mostly angry. I was perfectly polite and perfectly pleasant in my communications to Mr Toad. We had bonded over the few weeks leading up to this point and truth be told I probably didn’t see a lengthy friendship resulting from this however at this point in our lives it was nice we both had someone to confide in and share our experiences. The tales of my night from the Gay Bar in Belfast had not completely circled and I was avoiding Big Girls probing questions like mad (the resulting ‘gay get together’ had yet to take place. I was still feeling anxious about everyone knowing my own little secret. Change can often we unwelcome and a difficult process. Especially for a 17 year old. Already in our lives so much was changing. We were at the end of our scholastic adventures pretty much and in a few short months we would all be departing for university. I think I wanted so much to stay the same. Toad was a welcome distraction as I could talk about what I dare not speak out loud. I had found a semi-anonymous companion to show the ‘real’ me to. It was nice.
In our first year at school when myself and Billy were just becoming acquainted, I was invited to Billy’s house for a play-date…. well I guess it wasn’t really a play-date when you are burgeoning on adolescence however that is exactly what it felt like. Myself, Billy and Toad were sat in Billy’s front garden. This was unusual and I’m still rather confused as to why I agreed to go. I didn’t really know Billy, and Toad was someone I said about two words to. I think I was still trying to establish myself and make my way through the thorny bush that is secondary school. As we sat in the garden chatting it became all too clear that I was far too immature for Mr Toads social taste. Have you ever met a teenager that you doubted was ever a child. Toad had this old man quality about him. He talked about politics and his position on certain socio-economic topics. This all flew over my head as I was not politically savvy nor was I particularly worldly. I was interested in music and video games. I found the whole thing rather pomp and droll to be honest. He would also speak I this weird affected tone that made him sound rather constipated. He would let a weird groan after finishing each sentence. I would often give him a look of complete wonderment. Billy would be the more social of the two and attempt to entertain Toad by blagging his way though this most bizarre conversational platform. I would look up at the blue sky and wonder when the moon would fall on top of me. At least it would be interesting.
That was the last play-date ever arranged for us. In your first year you are very experimental in your friendships. Its like shopping for a wedding ring. You try on loads of cuts and styles until you find the perfect one that fits. Toad and I did not fit in the slightest. Both being quite academically bright however we would both excel in very different areas. He would come out with top marks in Religious Education which I alas would always struggle with. Its not that I don’t find theology fascinating. In fact now I probably know more than I ever did as the subject really interests me. Back then it was dusty old books taught in sermon style and expected to memorise half of Psalms In an hour. Not my idea of education. I however did excel in English literature. Something about the subject just clicked with me. I always loved reading and analysing the characters in a book. You can capture the complexity in a character far easier than in a movie. Rarely is everything black and white. The grey is what always intrigued me. Lady Macbeth for example, ruthless ambition or tragedy of circumstance? Toad used to glare at me when I received praise for my English essays as he would was a typical A personality type who would settle for nothing rather than second place. To be honest it is a surprise we weren’t better friends as we actually had a lot in common.
I shut down my P.C and proceeded to kiss mummy good night. We always had a tradition where I would kiss her goodnight and she would yell, “get to your bed”. It was our little tradition. I lay in bed and tried not to let the nights events over MSN messenger annoy me and soon fell into a deep coma. The next day was like any other except our social group was already planning a new weekend activity. Our little group lived for the weekends. They would alternate between nights in the pub/karoke bar, house parties or sometimes we would attempt to go to a nightclub. I say attempt as being 17 I always got asked for I.D. When I was 17 I looked about 12 and was still feeling my way round my fashion. Needless to say this scrawny Irish boy could not pass for 18. Billy who had the gift of height and maturity never had an issue. The girls could put on make-up and wear low cut tops. I had to just stand in queues and hope to god no one would even notice me or the game would be up. We were all sat in our usual place in the common room and decided we would go to Kellys. For the Non-Irish, Kellys is an institution. It is a massive nightclub in Portrush and houses one of the biggest dance floors in Europe. It also has an amazing chip shop inside the nightclub.
AS we made plans who would go with who and how we would get there we all fell into regular conversation. I am actually really surprised any of us made it to University as we spend more time talking about our social lives than Hamlet or Equations. Kellys has two big nights a week. One on a Wednesday which is student night (my more likely option) and one on a Saturday night. We were all going to attend the student night. Looking back I gave no thoughts about going clubbing and straight into class the next day. Now I would shudder at the thought and would prefer to order a Chinese and have an early night so I am well rested for work….. the follies of youth ….. how I miss those times.
We all dashed into school on the Thursday morning. Our favourite time as a group was always the mornings. We would all start to congregate earlier than was expected and spend the first 15 minutes before class having really good chats about absolutely nothing. Perhaps which teacher was shagging another or who had been caught smoking behind the gym (usually Billy). Even after a night of somewhat mad clubbing we would still bounce in early all catch up. We were never that late as we still had parents who wouldn’t allow us out too late on a school night. As I sat looking at big girl telling Lady Jayne the scandal from the night before (lady Jayne was also cursed with looking about 10 years too young to club) I had a sudden tap on my shoulder. I turned round and the Head of 6th year was glaring at me with his raven like eyes. “Principals office now!”, he bellowed at the 17 year old with a slightly fuzzy head.
I stepped into the principals very opulent and ridiculously sized office. Seriously I believe the Oval Office would be pale in comparison to this ridiculously functional Principals office. In a room with no less than 4 Sofas I sat down in my oversized jacket with my green deputy head boy badge gleaming. “Michael You have conned the board of Governors, me and this school into believing you would be a reputable Deputy head!”.
I started to waken up more at this point. He did not look happy at all. What was worse is I think I further enraged him as I had zero clue what he was talking about. “May I ask what I have done that has lead you to this conclusion?”. My slightly arrogant/hungover tone was not received at all well. As he glared at me with his glasses filling with steam he took a loud breath a expelled the words;
You were supposed to attend the prize giving ceremony last night, this is the first time in the schools history that a deputy head boy has not attended. You instead found it appropriate to go out drinking and clubbing, which is illegal as you are underage!
Ok so this was obviously very serious. However I was usually really good at remembering stuff like this. I always had a great memory for dates and events. Wait, no I definitely was not aware of this! Surely I would of went to a meeting about this to discuss the details? “How was I meant to know this? No one told me, I honestly didn’t even know!?!?!”.
“The Head Boy has informed us that he indeed did tell you and that you said you would prefer to go drinking with your friends!!!!”, he snarled at me.
A light bulb went off in my head…. ahhhh, Toad was supposed to have told me and didn’t…. things were starting to become clear.
To be continued (again)……..
A Grievers Guide to the Galaxy 