So having come back from my Jollies all refreshed and relaxed I am in the best form the write into my little blog. My adventures of Sunny Benidorm will no doubt make for some interesting writing however I have some unfinished business to attend to regarding the illustrious Mr Toad. Before that however I would like to take the opportunity to thank my friends for writing their entries. It was a joy to read them and really inspired me to keep going on my little writing adventure. It also gave me some much needed rest as it is quite the task to log all these entries while juggling a 40+ hour job and social commitments. The people who say you can do it all have obviously never committed to documenting their lives in a blog for 365 days now have they? Granted some have children and what not however I am not one of them people so I couldn’t possible comment…. nor would I dare…. my friends who have tiddlywinks would kill me.
As I sat in the principals office getting reprimanded for something I was oblivious too my mind couldn’t help but wander the illustrious Mr Toad. Over the short weeks we had chatted online, I really thought I had a confidente, someone I could share details of my life I was at the time too scared to even speak out loud. Quite a big deal when you think about it. Like my favourite book the Count of Monte Christo, I could relate to Edmond Dantes. I felt the sting of betrayal and I didn’t like it one bit. As I was being berated for being such a horrible deputy head and person in general the principal brought up the one topic that is always off limits. The very inspiration of this blog… My mother.
“Your mother must be very reckless to let a teenage boy attend a nightclub during the week, her parenting has a lot to be desired”. The steam rose from my ears like a kettle. I was not amused. How dare he presume to even know my mother, how she raised me as a single parent. Showered me with love and affection. Sacrificed everything. For him to take all that away with such a flippant remark was unforgivable and to be honest in incredibly bad taste. As I left the office dumbstruck and a little broken I rang the lioness straight away. I needed to vent to the one person who would understand my feelings. As usual she would fact check everything and get the full details, “Are you sure you were not informed of the prize giving evening?”. If anything my mother was always good at performing her own due diligence as she would never leap in without at least first checking her facts. I admired this about her. I was definitely a lot more reactionary. Mummy would process all the information available before deciding on the correct course of action.
Immediately she asked to make an appointment with the headmaster. Within 5 minutes of hanging up from mummy I was asked back into the principals office. He quizzed me on the reason for my mothers appointment. I told him I was not sure however I suspected that it had something to do with his casual comments on my mothers parenting abilities. “You told her!?!?!”. Yes of course Mr Principal. My mother and I have no secrets (apart from the biggest one however more on that in due course). For the first time I seen this pretentious little man with a love of power seemingly fall into his seat and a drop of sweat dripping off his brow. He was nervous. He had every right to be.
That afternoon my mother walked out of his office with a look that only a mother can have when she has a moral superiority. Like Winston Churchill announcing the victory of the allied forces against Germany, she strode to the car with a smug look of victory. I quizzed her on the conversation and she gave very little away. What she did say though was that the Principal had agreed with her (I doubt their was any choice on his part), that any future meetings with her son would always include herself as a parent. She also said he would be apologising for his comments he made about his mother……
And he did.
With one battle one I was on to the next. I was still fuming from the betrayal of Mr Toad. Every time he seen me he would squirm away and I could never get close enough to directly confront him. I don’t think he wanted that as I held the one secret in the world he never wanted anyone to know. Granted he knew mine too however after my little kiss in the nightclub a few weeks proper I was not naïve enough to believe my secret would remain as such for very much longer. Every time I would approach him, he would dart from across the room and make excuses to leave. The whole thing was making my blood boil. I have always been rather direct and much prefer a direct confrontation as opposed to side swipes and intrigue (that’s not to say that when push comes to shove I would be adverse to it either!). I had to put the little toad to the back of my mind though as it was nearing the time of the most anticipated day of our school careers. The formal.
All the planning had taken a few months. Venues were booked. Venues were cancelled. It got the morning of the big day and me and the ladies went to the hotel and decorated everything. It actually turned out pretty spectacular for never having done this before. We hired one of those helium canisters and filled the room with balloons and sprinkled the tables with stars and confetti. We had also planned the entertainment. Every school tradition in our town had one thing in common. Awards. People would receive awards for varying things like “prettiest girl”, “Best couple”, “Most athletic”… bla bla bla. We however decided to flip the awards on its head and do what we considered funny awards. One couple would receive the award for “Smirnoff Ice, as clear as your conscience award”. The couple had recently split from their respective partners and coupled up. The idea was to have funny awards with a little bit of social commentary. Billy himself received the “Lord of the Rings” award, which in hindsight is rather disgusting however he loved it actually. I seen this as an excellent way to express my feelings and exact my revenge on Mr Toad. He would get the award for “The lion, the witch and the wardrobe, in the Narnia Closet” Award. Ok so looking back that was pretty mean but I was 17/18 and was really pissed off. I’m not making excuses however it all should be taken into perspective.
That night we all decided to meet at mine. My mummy had bought me an orchard corsage for Lexxie (we decided to go as friends). She arrived in a beautiful red dress and a half up-do hair style. My mummy took one look at her and me and nearly burst into tears right on the spot. We posed for all the obligatory formal pictures, first as a couple then as a group. As we said our goodbyes I will never forget mummies face as we left the house. She looked so proud and so happy. I would see that face a lot from her as she was always so happy for me. She lived for these monumental moments as she would see them. As we climbed into our limo and headed 15 minutes up the road (yeah it was a small town), we opened the complimentary champagne and pretended we liked it. In this limo was myself, lexxie, big girl, ringer and lady Jayne, Terrapin and the respective dates. The others in our group would go in a different limo. The hotel provided on for free and we pulled names out of a hat to see who would get it. They were so smug when they won, Billy in particular. Until it turned up of course. It was a dusty old banger from days gone by. It was awful. When our group seen it we couldn’t help but return the smugness.
The evening progressed rather nicely. We had a meet and greet. Photographs with everyone then we were ushered to our seats for the meal. The meal went in a flash and we were all at the one table which was the most important thing. Billy decided to be flash and order a bottle of sparkling wine. Lexxie looked at me deadpan and said, “where’s my wine???”. Being me I complied and ordered a bottle for her and myself. We polished that off just in time for the awards. It was myself and Billy’s Date ‘Nelson’ who were the hosts of this occasion. As I got on stage I could tell I was already a little tiddly. I asked the first table nearest the stage for a lighter to light my cigarette (yes you could still smoke indoors) and they looked up blank at me…. it was the Christian table so I kind of felt a little bad. Someone threw me one and we got on our way. We had a hallway point after doing the awards in which we could refill our drinks. I think it was going down well as everyone was laughing and me and Nelsons back and forth.
At this mid-point Toad approached me. He had got wind (and the willows he he) of his award he would be receiving. He looked at me dead pan and pleaded me not to give him his award. In that moment I could have went down two roads. I could of went with my head or my heart.
My heart won.
I got on stage and continued the awards, not before throwing Toads in the bin. As angry as I was I still liked to think of myself as a decent human being. Also I didn’t want to do what he so easily did, betray a friend. I think deep down I knew I would never go through with it. I mean I wouldn’t want someone to do that to me and be so callous.
It didn’t hurt to make him sweat though.
I think the real justice was him knowing that I could of but I didn’t. He has to live with how mean he was. Thankfully my moral compass was fine-tuned that evening.
The night carried on and we all danced the night away. It really was a magical night. Billy and the local homophobe ‘Calcium’ were crowned prom king and Queen (billy being the queen). He approached me after and asked why the hell would I set him up like that (the homophobe not billy). He thought I had orchestrated the whole thing. Actually it was rather funny but alas I couldn’t take credit as myself and Lady Jayne were canvassing for our own nominations. Sadly we came second however I think the right result sent out a perfect message from the school. Calcium was not best pleased. A fitting end to a horrible story ….. wait I haven’t even told his story yet….. Their I go again with my disjointed narrative. Well we will definitely be revisiting him in the near future.
My fondest memories of that night are not the near revenge against Mr Toad, nor Calcium getting his just-desserts. It was spending it with my friends who I adored. It was a magical night. I would tell the story over and over with mummy on the phone and she always said she felt like she was there, the way I could vividly describe it…. Even after a few glasses of cheap sparkling wine.
So that’s that tale done and dusted. Now I am feeling refreshed and relaxed I can feel I have the energy for lots more now.
Night night everyone xxx
A Grievers Guide to the Galaxy 