Memories are a funny thing. The science behind it one would believe are synaptic impulses sent to the brain. Sounds very cold doesn’t it? Nerve impulses sending electronic information down the brain super highway. The thing about memories is they do serve a very natural purpose. They teach us how to learn. From a Darwinian point of view this could be observed as learning from ones own mistakes, to a certain extent I’m there to agree. Natural selection can be observed everywhere apart from the highest office in the united states (trump girl I’m look at you!). How do we explain the memories that don’t serve any survival purpose?
I’m just of the phone with ‘Big Girl’ and we had a usual short conversation of over 2 hours. We had many recollections about every second of our 33 years of live,(we are pretty efficient with our time). We talked a lot about memories and how they make us feel, they don’t prepare us for the upcoming Armageddon scenario, they just make us feel good. I had these conversations with mummy. Usually over the obligatory glass of red. We would settle into conversation and I would ask her about her childhood.
I could listen to those memories for hours on end. Red or not… She had such a flare for storytelling. She knew when it was time for comedy. She knew when it was time to be sombre. The women could just grasp the art of telling a good story. My mother was born in 1950. I always called her a 1950’s housewife even though she would of been 9 at its penultimate year,,, she always giggle at this.
As me and Big girl started to reminisce we talked about how mummy was apart of all of our lives. She was very much living in her sons life. Some people will probably read this blog and wonder…. why does he keep introducing all these people. That weirdo narcissist talking more about his friends than his mother. Big girl said something that really resonated with me tonight.
“your mummy was apart of all our lives”…
Tonight on the phone I held back the tears and let her speak on. She explained how we all grew up together from school to adults with kids (not me, not yet), and how we will always be friends. We literally discussed the next few chapters of our lives. So much more to come and my heart filled with pride. I am so lucky so have a mother that was so heavily involved in my life.
I also am so lucky at all the amazing memories to look back on.
Some people ask me all the time, as is common in grief, “are you angry?”
No.
I had the luxury of having a wonderful best friend for 33 years of my life. I couldn’t of asked for better, couldn’t of whished for it even. Some people may read this and think… what a cliché. His mother was his best friend… yeah right.
she was.
Everyone in my life knows that we talked every single night on the phone. We chatted, even for ten minutes, every single night in life. The least I can do is write for 365 about the women I loved, admired, respected and adored. I miss her. I will never stop missing her.
Memories are a gift. We should always cherish them. Mummy did. Sometimes we feel sad. sometimes we feel happy.
The most important thing is.
We feel.
A Grievers Guide to the Galaxy 
The more you write the more you break my heart.I know a lot of these story’s the way you talked every night and she would laugh God I miss her.We were friends for over 60 years and I love her dearly keep up the writing it brings back so many memories love you xx
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I lost my Mum nearly 4 years ago . I was lucky to have had her for 55 years but I’m tearing up as I write . I have a couple of her things in my wardrobe every now and then I bury my head in them and have a good cry . X
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